Showing posts with label anxious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxious. Show all posts

Monday, February 9, 2015

Happy Valentines Day

True  love

The problem - What should I do to make him “love me”?

As our world globalizes the many ideas and information about relationships and love we have makes us loose track of what ‘rule’ to follow. 

The young female and I struggle to find the ‘ME’, who we are? What we want? Becomes a shady vision guided by various rules of do's and don’t. In the variety of acceptable and non acceptable, I struggle to find a system an answer that fits all where ever we maybe.

As we get older the struggle still continues and the hunt  to belong is stronger. 

We determine who we are by what we want. We start to follow external rules of do's and don’t to get what we desire. We play the trade game. 

As women we look for companionship and love, and that usually is perceived as a man. Hence, the chase begins, and from there the up and down syndrome starts. 

But there is a much easier way, that applies to everything in life but this valentines we only look at it  with respect to love.

In order to attract a man become what a man needs.

This means place yourself in a position of power where he will be willing to exchange anything for your love and affection. This mentality is a game changer. Lets go over how to become or get to that stage. This is not something you must do in the action sense rather its a state of being.

The theory - Generating light:

A woman should know that her own power lies within her. All that is required is for her to turn her attention, examine and observe this power within. How is this achievable? What must we do, the reality is NOTHING.

In this absence of desire for “ME TO DO” something we eliminate the ego, we submit to full acceptance by full acceptance we let life flow through us. By allowing life to flow we gain access or depth to our inner being which is inherently good.

This inherently good being becomes more evident or is revealed when the element of “I” no longer exists.

Don’t fight the “I” cause any struggle with the “I” is the generation of another “I”.

This life flow that comes after the “I”  is pure, has miraculous abilities to draw to its self and attract. You might not trust this light or this pull and thats ok, but think about it for a second. The theory that the light attracts stems from this deeper understanding of the nature of the pure light.

Pure light constitutes as the name suggests pure qualities of goodness such as generosity, courage, honesty, care, fun, beauty, health and all the rest of it.. We are attracted to those qualities, we would do anything for a nice caring generous loving person.

Why its just human nature!

So how does the “I” hinder the flow of pure light. It simply filters it out. Lets use an example you get a torch and turn it on in a dark room, the room lights up, now if you put a rectangle in front of it, you divide the light. The room is no longer lit up and all you see are these different colors and think why am I not blue, or green!

Its the same with our love life, I am now red, and I need to become green or purple. We are constantly looking to get, buy, become, someone or something else...

Removing the triangle helps everyone see the pure light with no filtration, and remember ALL humans all creatures are attracted to the LIGHT.


Practically - The ON switch

If you are just to let the light flow, what are you required to do if nothing. 

The power of silence. 

Forty minutes of silence daily can take you to a different level beyond the “I”. Don’t fight the thoughts just simply sit.

With patience and time something beyond the mind, beyond the act of doing takes place. In this process more capacity for light flow is built, and it simply works.

Many theories can explain how it works, but our interest is to simply use this attracting light to draw in the man of our dreams.

Keep doing the practice, the more you do it the more pure light can flow. Through the pure light, your state of being elevates to those naturally good qualities that all of us are attracted to.

Happy valentines day and let me know how it goes!








By Jana Sharaf

 Founder of "NOON EVE"





Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Sleep thoughts


Your thoughts may often interfere with your sleep by protracting you into so-called “cycle of worry” and as a result stop you from falling asleep and resting properly.


CYCLE OF WORRY



THOUGHT: Negative Thought Leads to….
FEELING: Worry: Body and Mind are “ACTIVATED”
BEHAVIOUR: Scanning body, environment, and thoughts
THOUGHTAnd the cycle continues.

When Body and Mind are activated senses “zoom-in” and so often detect small, unrelated things as threats.

How to break a Cycle of Worry

Imagine, you wake up at 3 am and you think “I won’t be able to function tomorrow”.

You need to challenge that thought!!!

·       What is the evidence that supports this idea?
·       What is the evidence against this idea?
·       Is there an alternative explanation?
·       What is the worst that could happen?
·       Could I live through it?
·       What is the best that could happen?
·       What is the most realistic outcome?
·       What would I tell______(a friend) if he she were in the same situation?
·       How would someone else interpret the same situation?

What alternative thought could you have?

Situation
Automatic Thoughts
Feelings
Alternative Thoughts
Feelings
Awake in bed in the middle of the night
“I won’t be able to function tomorrow”.
Anxious 80%
“I did not sleep so well one night last week but I could still function. I may not be sleeping, but I am resting”.
Anxious 25%

By finding and Alternative Thought, Worry and Anxious feelings are reduced and the cycle is weakened or broken so sleep will come more easily.

Other ways to stop a “Racing Mind”
·       Allow thoughts to come and go e.g. train passing through a station (pink bunny exercise)
·       Concentration on something pleasurable and/or boring e.g. counting sheep
·       Think of something that will take your attention

3 BIG FACTORS that make it difficult to judge how much sleep you’ve had:

1.     “Sleep Inertia”- 3-20 minutes after waking we’re still “half-asleep”, dazed, “out-of-it”
2.     “Sleep Onset” is a bit of mystery time! Even with hi-tech machines, we can’t know exactly when sleep starts.
3.     “Worry” – research shows that when we worry – and our mind races – time seems to pass more quickly. So 30 minutes trying to get to sleep may seem like and hour!

Thinking about your sleep problem

Research has found that almost everyone
·       Underestimates how much sleep they get
·       Overestimates the time it takes them to go to sleep

Your beliefs and attitudes about sleep are important

Some things you can do

1.     Widen the Goal Posts e.g. don’t have fixed rules about sleep
2.     Recognise that not feeling completely rested some days is normal, EVEN AFTER a good night’s sleep
3.     Recognise that there are more things within your control such as:
·       Irregular sleep schedule
·       Daytime napping
·       Spending too much time in bed

DO NOT

·    Exaggerate the seriousness as this can lead to more worry, e.g. “I look ten years older after no sleep last night”
·       Let your world revolve around sleep
·       Cancel activities as that gives you more time to worry about the upcoming night

DO

·       Get on with things normal even if you have had a bad night sleep
·       Even if you don’t sleep, enjoy rest and relaxation, as these can be helpful
·       Accept that sleep problems are not dangerous

Good luck! Stay calm and sleep well…

© King’s College London



Dr. Anastasia Burelomova
Trainee Counseling Psychologist

Twitter

Blog