Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Motivate a woman to be a better woman

New year, new you. There are definitely lot of advices out there on how to motivate a woman to be a better woman. But I would like to focus on two words: You Matter.

You're going to say "TWO WORDS??!". Yes, two words when understood well can make whole of a difference.
Being valued for who you are not for what you know. Women forgets sometimes that they are essential in the world.
When we tell a young woman that she matters, we are inviting her into a life of service and action. Leadership is hard work and it comes with real responsibility. We help young leaders grow when we give them both, by telling them that they matter, and are accountable for it.
To matter means to be of consequence or importance to others.
It means you are significant, relevant, worthy of note and of crucial value. The world may not always affirm this. Your friends and family may not adequately communicate the importance of your presence in their lives.
But that doesn’t mean that what you do and who you are doesn’t have a profound impact on the world.
It does. The world would be a very different place – a lesser place – without you.
Happy New Year everyone! 

By Heidi Shebaro

Founder of " The Kindness Project in the Middle East", a teacher and a blogger. 

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Packing/ Buying your Inner Self

Every once in a while we go on holiday, move house or simply pack to go on a business trip. Just before our trip we shop for presents or we don’t, and just before our trip we think of the destination and how everything will be new or how you will continue your project. No matter the reason for your travels, packing is a very spiritual concept for those aware of what they are doing.

While you pack, your mind classifies what is important and what is not, your true prioritize starts to show. Whether it is in matters of packing or shopping for that trip, if you observe your thoughts carefully enough, you will notice a pattern of deeply rooted EGO, SATAN! Am I buying this to impress people, to be comfortable, do I care more about the image of how much money I make in front of my friends and family.... Those thoughts and categorization patterns are vital to understanding your inner workings and your intentions.. 

If you are not packing to go anywhere just observe your self while you do your Christmas shopping, is your x boss getting a better present than your mom just so you can prove to him how much money you make... This short blog is not to tell you the right or wrong prioritize, it's simply giving you a means to better understanding of your inner self. Priorities are very important as what you focus on in life grows and if your priority is to show love then that will grow, but if it is to show vainly things off then your vanity will grow.. 

Merry X Mas and Happy New Year I hope this small practical tool can help you shift your priorities thus making room for real things that make you happy!

By Jana Sharaf
Political consultant, philosopher, dream analyst and founder of "NOON EVE"

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Happy APP

Happy App

As the pressure in our lives increases, our detachment from each other increases. The sale of Happy APP has become one of the fastest growing industries. It seems almost certain in my head that in the next year someone will make an Iphone App that downloads happiness. The manipulation that our ego is the root cause of all our problems joining cults, that mould you to their structure only to feed the sharks at top of the food chain has become very popular these days.

This is not to say that those institutions don’t have a noble cause behind them, but this noble cause comes only to create superiority to their message, to their members and to exclude others as less enlightened or worthy. These causes don’t pay fundamental respect for orphans rights, human rights, also other integral human and tolerance issues that surround the poor, the needy and the disabled.

They sell us stories, stories of high morality, beliefs that we have not earned or do not deserve what we have and what we do have is meant to be shared. The sharing comes at the expense of the middle group never the top or the bottom. The bottom volunteer with their efforts and are discriminated against in the name of self discipline.The ego is one of the best ways a person gets programmed to fit a structure, maybe we are meant to live in structures, maybe this is not a bad idea. 

On the other hand look truly inside when you are a part of this system are you striving to become more enlightened as that is ego driven motive, are you there to become a teacher, a someones soul mate cause that is ego competing with ego and you have simply replaced your free life for a new program that most likely is making you more miserable using fancy words, suppressing deep insecurities and fears as suddenly that institution has and includes all your life.

By Jana Sharaf

Political consultant, philosopher, dream analyst and founder of "NOON EVE"

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Law of Attraction: My Way

When I was 17 years old, I didn't know much about the power of the mind. I was in my room reading and I wanted "cotton candy", something I haven't had since I was a little kid, and was close to impossible to get.

I thought, "How will I get it?". I mean I was in the room, no shops around me that sell it, no one in the house to ask to go buy it for me....

I decided to draw a "cotton candy". I was so sure that tonight I will have some. I visualized that I would surely get it, and how happy I was to get my cotton candy.

I never read before about the LAW OF ATTRACTION. I don't think lot of people explained how it works back then.


Later that night, my dad came home from work with "cotton candy" in his hand. How did he know? Who told him? I mean it's been years since we had it, and it's not like we talked about it the night before or anything... But I got it! I got what I wanted.

Now I understand how it works. The law is so simple, THOUGHTS become THINGS. What you THINK is what you GET. Whether it was "cotton candy", that Ferrari car, or flying to the moon, I just want to tell you, GO get your dreams!

By Heidi Shebaro

Founder of " The Kindness Project in the Middle East", a teacher and a blogger. 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Fight or Flight

Imagine, it is somewhat around midnight, you are walking alone down a dark deserted street and then you hear steps right behind you. Or imagine you are a student, doing your final exam; you turn over the paper and see the questions you have never seen before. In both situations your heart will probably start beating faster, skin will get gold and you will start breathing extensively. When you perceive danger, a part of your brain sends a nerve impulse and hormones are released into the bloodstream, causing these changes to hopefully sharpen your senses and make you perform at the best of your abilities. This is so-called “fight or flight” phenomenon.
Fight-or-flight response can be defined as a “sequence of internal activities triggered when an organism is faced with a threat; prepares the body for combat and struggle or for running away to safety; recent evidence suggests that the response is characteristic only of males”.
For many years the idea that in the face of stress, the organism either fights or  takes flight, was predominant and the only truth in psychology. However this universal low of Western psychology was once questioned by Shelly Tailor and her students (2000) at the University of California. Interestingly, they found that the hundreds of studies of the fight or flight response to stress were done on…males. Male albino rats, male monkeys, male humans. The outcomes of those studies were that in the face of stress we either fight (therefore are strong, “real men”) or we fail…Furthermore, we respond alone, we are either “lonely heroes” or “lonely wimps”.
When Taylor and colleagues replicated these studies on females, a very different picture emerged. Facing the stress, females tend to move towards others, they start taking care of, move towards close proximity, groom and communicate. This phenomenon was called “tend and befriend” response. It was suggested, that one part of it can be determined biologically, that there is a release of oxytocin (“bonding hormone”) for females when they are stressed or vulnerable. This hormone is released in pre- and post-birth in mothers and in all women when they during times of stress.
There is no doubt that biology plays an important role in our behaviours, but one can barely explain all the gender differences in that way. Doctor Judith Jordan (2010, p.216) points out that “the response to stress they found does not appear to be about just “getting support” or “calling a friend to complain” (nothing wrong with either of these), but there is a “befriend” piece. In our language, it is about something mutual–reaching out to give, reaching out to receive. It is about building connection, and to stretch it a bit, I think it is about the practice of building courage in connection”.
Being together helps us cope, helps us to feel that we are not alone, facing our vulnerabilities and anxieties, helps us to feel that we are part of something larger than our own particular fear. How many times have you heard as a compliment “you think like a man”? We are grown up in an individualistic society, cultivating courage and “being a man” is the highest exhortation in our culture, it carries a notion of courage, strength and pride. “Be a man” – you hear it so often. Regardless of who you actually are biologically and regardless of the mask you have chosen, ask yourself time to time: “am I a “real man” and do I really allow myself not to be one? Do I allow myself to be vulnerable and seek help?”.
Men and women…we are different, indeed, and perhaps different for a reason…

Taylor, S. E., Cousino Klein, L., Gruenewald, T. L., Guring, R. A. R., Lewis, B. P., & Upgdegraff, J. A. (2000). Behavioral responses to stress in females: Tend-andbefriend, not fight-or-flight. Psychological Review, 107(3), 411-429.

Jordan J.V. (2008) Valuing Vulnerability: New Definitions of Courage, Women & Therapy, 31 (2-4), 209-233, DOI: 10.1080/02703140802146399

By Anastasia Burelomov
Counseling Psychologist